Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Just go with it

I'm currently reading blink: the power of thinking without thinking and just finished he's just not that into you; two totally different styles of books, but both which I appreciate and can relate to their overall message of just trust your instincts. Gladwell says that "we live in a world that assumes that the quality of a decision is directly related to the time and effort that went into making it." I'm definitely guilty of falling into this trap and I am always over analyzing situations, trying to plan ahead and know what's coming in my future (I really dislike the unknown), and asking the WHY not just accepting something without an explanation. So reading these books have really got me thinking...do I trust my gut instincts? Am I really that indecisive? In hindsight, why didn't I trust my gut?
Some of my best decisions have come rather impulsively. These have made some of the best vacations, Miami, Las Vegas; experiences, skydiving, random outings; I blindly accepted my current job and even though there are definitely crazy days that make me think 'what am I doing?', overall it's been a wonderful experience and I've learned a lot.
I'm coming to the conclusion that I come off as indecisive because I'm a people pleaser. I don't like when others push their agendas and opinions on me, so I avoid doing that myself and I really don't like/want to piss people off. The more I think about it, I'm really not indecisive at all. I have an opinion on just about everything, I'm pretty judgmental and I know what I want; instead it's the others around me that get me acting all indecisive. Also, this Minnesota Nice and avoiding confrontation has me dragging the announcement of my decision out because why get everyone up in arms about my decision months in advance, when I can hold off for as long as possible.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Ready for change

I'm still awaiting my invitation from the Peace Corps, so the jury's still out for that one. But, I'm continually weighing my options for the upcoming year and whether or not I decide to go to the predetermined country they choose for me I definitely need a change of scenery. I've come to the realization that I'm not ready to settle and become stagnant in one location, with one job, and with the same routine day in and day out. And to tell you the truth I don't know when I'll ever be ready for that.
I've always had a strong desire to travel and not just tourist travel where you spend a long weekend at a resort and stop by all the famous landmarks; I really want to experience the world and cultures to it's full extent. If I had the resources I would love to live my own personal version of Eat, Pray, Love and just take off and live in three different countries for a year.
Looking back I've always had this desire to be challenged and push my comfort levels in different atmospheres. After graduating high school, I had no desire to stay in Wisconsin for college, so I went out of state to Minnesota. I had this fear that if I stayed close to home for college I would grow too comfortable and never leave. Most of my family live within a 30 mile radius of one another and although I love them all dearly and would consider living there later in life, I want to be independent and explore.
During college I wanted to study abroad and instead of choosing to go to some European country, I chose to go to Africa. I'm pretty sure most of my family and friends thought/still think I'm insane but I wanted to be different. Anybody can travel to Europe and visit London, Paris, Madrid, etc; but not many people decide to travel to Africa. Plus, I want to live by Gandhi's words: "Be the change you wish to see in the world" the study abroad program was a service learning program where I was able to study and have an internship in an orphanage/safe house. It was a wonderful experience and it really influenced me to apply to the Peace Corps in the first place. After graduating from college, I started applying for jobs and the Peace Corps. All of the jobs that I applied to were again out of state. Minnesota and Wisconsin are great states, but I feel like I'm ready to get out of the Midwest and either explore more of the US or the world.