First World vs. Third World Problems

 I recently had my mid-service doctor and dentist appointments. I don’t mind doctors or dentists but I dread going to Managua. Again just when I’m thinking that I can handle anything Nicaragua throws at me, the gods decide to throw me a curve ball (I’m not sure if it’s in spite or just to keep me on my toes). As I was waiting for the bus on Monday morning, I immediately regretted my decision to schedule my appointment for a Monday…it’s a bad travel day because everyone is traveling. I ended up hopping on a packed bus in which I was lucky enough to stand for the whole three hour trip on a terrible excuse for a road. Within the first ten minutes I almost fell and another passenger reached his arms out (instinctively, kind of like when you slam on the brakes and reach your arm out to protect your front seat passenger). Here comes the curve ball, there was a guy who was drunk or hung over and roaming around the cramped aisles even though he wasn’t getting off anytime soon. Luckily I have this magnet that attracts freaks like this and he stood by me; as he stood way too close for my comfort levels and not sure but seemed like he was trying to reach into my pocket and steal the ten cords I had. I kept my eyes on him and then he starts mumbling sweet nothings, which I hate and then kissed my arm that was grasping onto the handrail. Why?!?! I’m a good foot taller than the guy and as long as no weapons are involved I felt very confident that I could kick his ass. But instead of causing a scene I gently pushed him away and told him not to touch me. He got off shortly after that and I was able to successfully reach Managua without any more problems.

1^st World – Most people drive their personal cars and don’t need to deal with public transportation; and if they do elect to participate in public transportation the buses are not old school buses in danger of breaking down at any moment, not ever crammed with so many people you’re on the verge of a panic attack and can usually sit in your own solitude while listening to an Ipod or reading.

3^rd World – You rely on the buses and if you miss the bus there’s not another one coming in 5 minutes, you’ll be waiting much longer. You’re constantly alert of your belongings and the people around you, and you’re getting a great workout while you grasp the handrail and hope your core muscles will support you while the bus is launched over pot holes the size of small lakes and going way too fast around those curves.

I had my doctor’s appointment and all is well. I’m losing weight but nothing too drastic. I had my dentist appointment and surprise! I’ve got a cavity. I’m not surprised with the extreme amount of sugar and soda that I’m consuming here which is way higher than my normal US consumption rates. My appointments ran long and I had to stay in Managua because I couldn’t catch any more buses for the day and my cell was dead. I don’t mind staying in Managua – I get to sleep in a comfortable bed, eat food that doesn’t include rice or beans, take a hot shower and watch cable TV; but I don’t like staying when I’m not prepared. I didn’t think it was a possibility that I would stay, so I didn’t bring anything, toothbrush, change of clothes, nothing. So it’s not really that enjoyable to shower and then put on the same dirty clothes and then sleep in those clothes too. My clothes did not smell good the next day and I felt sorry for the woman I sat next to on the bus, Sorry! I was lucky enough to sit, but I took that worst bus ever…looking at it I’m thinking please let me arrive safely; I arrived safely but after six or seven stops where they had to fix or pretend to fix various mechanical problems.

1^st World – People’s response to my weight loss is “Wow! That’s great!” “You’re getting so skinny,” etc. It’s super interesting to me because we have an over abundance of food available to us each day and we’re overly obsessed with body image and being skinny or muscular to be beautiful.

3^rd World – People are telling me that I’m getting too skinny and need to eat more. People are actually inviting me to eat at their houses because they don’t think I’m eating enough. (P.S. I’m eating, but apparently rice and beans are a good diet if you’re looking to lose weight). Some people don’t have enough food to feed their families or themselves, therefore in my opinion, it seems that if you have money you show that by being a little bigger to show that you’re eating and that you have the money to buy food. Here and in other countries that I’ve visited big is beautiful; they want me to be hermosa not flacita.

            There are many more differences between the problems 1^st world societies face and 3^rd world societies face, but these were experiences that I recently had and reflected over and find very interesting.

Not my prince charming

I apologize for my lack of updates, but I would rather post funny antecdotes than bore you with my mundane tasks in life.
Rupert is getting bigger by the day and is a terror. It´s a good thing she´s cute because there have been moments where I would like to kill her. She´s no longer allowed to be indoors unsupervised because she´s destroyed 2 pairs of flip flops, pulled the tablecloth off the table along with my dishes, pots, pans, etc, somehow got into her food which was on the kitchen table (about waist high) and just general destruction of everything.
My wish of living in a rodent free house has been crushed; but the score is Lindsey 2, mice, not rats 0. I had one mouse living under my refridgerator. I´m not sure how long he was there for, but for a decent amount of time judging by the stock of dog food he had hidden. He was a bit mysterious and difficult to catch. After chasing him around the house, while screaming of course he would literally disappear into thin air. I was not alone, my friend who was wielding a machete (yes a machete) to kill a mouse can vouch for the witch mouse.   He luckily fled the house but was unlucky and lucky for me to be pummeled my a rock and killed instantly. The other mouse, I hope is burning in hell, was living in my clothes. One morning I was rummaging through trying to find the least stretched out and best smelling shirt when he scurried out, nearly up my arm causing a near heart attack for me. Again, he luckily fled the house through the many open doors and crevices and was later found dead near my backdoor. I´m hoping that those are the only unwanted visitors that enter my home and if more trepass they should be warned of their fateful future.
Drum roll please.....
This is the story you are all waiting for. I sleep under a mosquito net to prevent such diseases as malaria and dengue from infecting me, but also it´s my shield of armour, without it I don´t know if I would every sleep soundly. Unfortunately, it´s failed me. I was peacefully sleeping when something small and moist fell unto my lips. Of course, I shrieked and busted out my cell to give what little light it can provide to find the culprit. It took quite a bit of frantic searching but I found the little guy, it was a small tree frog. Luckily, it wasn´t poisonous and I didn´t obtain any warts from him; but nor was he my prince charming. I´ve literally kissed one frog, hopefully my only and it didn´t turn out like the fairy tales. DAMN! I guess that´s why Maroon 5 sings that fairy tales are full of shit...that´s right I was in the US and can make references to pop culture, probably not for much longer but for now I can.