An Upcoming Adventure

After a lot of research and many conversations with Lindsey. Becky and I
have decided to pay her a visit in Nicaragua.  She been away from home so long
we decide to take some of home to her,mostly in form of candy, clothing and
some good old fashioned English conversation.
 Our plan is to meet her at the airport in Managua and drive to pacific coast
and spend a few days at a beach house before doing some sight seeing and
working our way back toward Muy Muy. Sounds like fun right. So much that we
persuaded  my daughter Rachel to go along.
   While seeing Lindsey and being able to share some of her Nicaraguan
experience is the main reason for our trip,I have to admit the idea of getting
out of these long johns and into a pair of shorts sounded to good to pass up.
After 51 years of Wisconsin winters, It's hard to go from Oct. till April
without a  respite in a warmer climate. However,for becky and I ,its not always
easy to get from one place to another without a few complications.
    Yogi Berra said," You gotta be careful if you don't know where your goin',
otherwise you might not get there." That seems to be the general theme when our
vacations involve flying.  We've been delayed, rerouted, overbooked and over
nighted. But everything always seems to work out in the end. We once came home
to a blizzard in Chicago. There were no buses running and 100 people were in
line trying to rent cars. We started talking to a couple who was renting a car
to drive home to Lacrosse.  We offered to share the cost of their rental if
they could drop us off in janesville on their way by. A much better idea than
spending the night in a cot colony in the airport. We made it home and we made
new friends.
    We almost missed one flight because ,just for fun, we stopped to get our
shoes shined. They were litually closing the door as I sped down the ramp in my
newly shined boots. Of course that was our own fault. And the time we flew to
Las Vegas and came back married,was our own fault too.
But , like I said ,everything seems to work out very well in the end.
  This trip should be a piece of cake. I'll be escorted around by 3 world
travelers. Between Becky ,Lindsey and Rachel , they have been to Kenya ,
England , France, Ireland , Costa Rica,
Mexico,Jamiaca, Australia , Thailand and of course Nicaragua. With Lindsey as
our interpreter , I feel pretty good about gettin' where we're goin'. But
then,I not really sure where I'm goin'.
 Should be interesting. We'll keep you posted.

Things to look forward to...

School starts on Monday, and I´m more than ready to get working.
I´ll be getting more visitors this month, always exciting.
I just learned how to build improved ovens, so that´s my next project on hand.
Because I´ll be getting visitors I´ll have a guest blogger while they are here, hopefully it will make this a little more exciting because lately I´ve been pretty lame. I apologize, it´s becoming a worn and tired sitcom that hooks you in the beginning, but quickly loses it´s spark. I promise I´ll make some changes and hopefully the guest blogger will rejuvenate my blogging-writing abilities.
I really don´t have anything exciting to share, I´ve been pretty low key lately. I don´t even have a funny joke to share. Please don´t lose hope on me, in a couple of weeks return and read about my adventures from a different voice. I promise you won´t regret it!

I´m still here

I’m sorry for the long delay in entries, but I can explain…I was extremely busy preparing for the (falsely) predicted end of the world. I was stocking up on rice and beans and instant coffee…wait….no that’s just the normal diet here.

The holiday season is always a busy time, well for you guys in the US, so I was just thinking of you. I didn’t want to burden you with the task of reading about my life here in Nicaragua.

I really don’t have an excuse, but I can provide you all with an update for the last two months. First of all, I hope you all had a happy holiday season and Happy 2013! Let the countdown to my return begin.

Let’s see, Thanksgiving was non-eventful for me, but it was a time filled with drooling and dreams of all the delicious food that I missed. Good news: I will be back in time for Thanksgiving and will be sure to make up for the two lost years.

The beginning of December was very busy. The school year ended and the 6^th grade graduations took place. I was so proud of all my students that graduated and am very excited to know that the majority of them will continue their studies this next year. The graduation ceremonies were quite the to-do. I felt kind of like a celebrity. After the ceremony, everyone wanted their picture with me and invited me to their house to eat. I can’t really complain about free food and photo-ops.

At one of my schools I was just part of the audience and photographer. I could handle that, so the next day I was expecting the same duties; not at all! This time around I was a VIP and sitting on a panel with other VIPs and handing out diplomas. If that wasn’t enough to end the ceremony the head VIP (delegate of the office of education for my community) said a few words of congratulations to the graduates and included how I traveled more than thousands of kilometers to come here to Nicaragua to help all the students and appreciation for my work. It was very nice of him and everyone appreciates notice of their good work, but in the moment I was mortified. And all of you know how I show pretty much every emotion on my face and how I tend to turn red when I’m embarrassed, well I can only imagine the shade of red I was wearing while everyone was applauding and snapping photos. I appreciated feeling like a celebrity for the 2 hours both days, but in reality I could never handle the limelight.

La Purisima was the next stop on the calendar. I believe I mentioned this last year at this time, but a bit of a refresher. It’s a celebration of the Virgin Mary and conception. I find the easiest way to describe it as trick-or-treating but for the Virgin Mary. The kids all go around to various houses singing songs about Mary and they receive oranges, sugar cane, candy and Chi-Cha (a drink I try to avoid. It’s the color of Pepto-Bismol and made of corn, clove and other spices, not my favorite). Last year, I participated and maybe was just so overwhelmed I didn’t really notice; but this year I’m hip to the game and was more observant. I went to the one in my neighborhood and was kind of scared. Adults were pushing and shoving to get a Tupper-ware bowl with an orange and some candies inside it. Let’s be honest I could have easily taken one if I wanted (it’s like Shaq in a see of normal sized people), but I politely stepped aside. I didn’t really care that much about the treats. But, my neighbors stuck up for me and fought their way to obtain an extra one just for me. YAY! I still won without the fight.

The holiday season is time for a ton of towns to have rodeos. I’m not a huge fan of the rodeo and feel like once you’ve seen one, you’ve seen ‘em all; but I continue to get invited and go. Again, I’m hip to the game and am able to make some keen observations instead of just being in awe and/or horror of events. I sat and watched the on-goings of the rodeo: abundance of beer and beer advertisements, drunkenness that just progresses with each hour, loud music, the obvious men riding/attempting to ride bulls. I look at it and say no thank you to the whole environment, but then imagine what Nicaraguans would think if I took them to a college football game. Really the only difference is there are not bulls. Why I do I say no, thank you to going to rodeos, but yes, please to going to say a Wisconsin Badger game?! I’ll continue to ponder this.

Christmas came and went without really anything to share. The New Year came and went without really anything to share either. Both occasions, I celebrated with the same group of friends and two pigs were slaughtered for the events. Santa didn’t find me here and I didn’t even stay up until midnight to welcome 2013. Again, next year I’ll celebrate in style.

I’m waiting to see what 2013 has in store for me; hopefully some more funny stories to share, lessons to be learned, memories to be made and best of all my return to the US.

Talents I´ve learned and some I have yet to conquer

The end of the school year is quickly approaching and I’m preparing myself for the “summer” vacation. Only a month left of classes and then it’ll be a lot of time for me to spend with Rupert, maybe I’ll train her to do some pretty awesome tricks. The weather is getting chilly here, although not comparable to the Midwestern winters I’m cold enough to wear a fleece – and you’re probably rolling your eyes because it’s a low in the 50s or 60s. It’s orange season; so instead of an apple for the teacher, my students have been giving me enough oranges that my vitamin C levels are sufficient. I do like oranges, but I’m waiting for mangos and avocados to come back into season.

My 6^th grade students are learning to sing “Imagine” by John Lennon in English and Spanish for their graduation. I’m very excited because it’s coming along very well. They should be prepared for their first year in high school, with a little advantage of this year of English.

I’m already dreaming about the Thanksgiving food that I’ll be missing again. I’m really craving pumpkin anything right now; pie, muffin, latte. I’m torturing myself, which is leading to my compulsive eating disorder. I recently received a couple of packages from my Grandma (thank you so much!) and they had some little snacks. Note: I normally share everything; I even brought back with me nearly 10 pounds of candy to share with my students, neighbors, anyone who comes to my house. But, over time I’ve missed things from home more and more, and noticed that they like the candy, but don’t appreciate it like I do. Obviously, they’re going to like it, the candy here sucks…it is all hard candy filled with gum, and it’s not good. I love it and it brings me happiness; therefore, I hide it. It’s not that I’m greedy, but if they see it, then I have to give it to them and then they tell their friends and then it’s gone. So I hid the snacks that I got in the packages and then ate it until it was gone. For example, one day all I ate was Goldfish and Starbursts; then the next day, cashews and Goldfish and on and on until my supplies were depleted. Hindsight is 20/20, I probably shouldn’t have done that, I could have shown some self-discipline and spread it out a bit more maybe even shared a little, but will I repeat this with my next shipment….probably! Hey, at least it’s junk food and not drugs that I’m talking about. And, can you blame me?! My diet pretty much consists of rice, beans and tortilla.

Finally, this year has gone by so quickly I can hardly believe it. I’ve learned a lot and considering how fast it’s gone by I’ve created a list of some things I still need to accomplish or not….

Talents that I’ve learned during my year:

• Cooking. I can make arroz, the Nicaraguan way; gallo pinto, tajadas, maduros, chilero…
• Speaking Spanish – much better than when I arrived, but still quite a few errors are made
• Learning to listen and tell when the bus is coming before seeing it
• Hand washing my clothes
• Using a machete
• Making arts and crafts from trash
• Slowing down my life and accepting a lot of down time to lay in my hammock
• Tasting the difference between Pepsi and Coca Cola and preferring Coca Cola
• Drinking Tona, (beer)

Traits of Nicaraguans I have yet to learn:

• Speaking Spanish perfectly
• Saying “tuani” (cool) and having the conversation continue without laughter
• Predicting the arrival of rain with near 100% accuracy
• Whistling and creating a system of call and response whistles with my friends and family
• “Painting” my face with more makeup than I would wear in a whole year
• Dancing (my Norwegian ancestry didn’t really help with the dance/rhythm department)
• Being able to eat rice, beans, tortilla and cuajada daily without complaining
• Finding rodents and reptiles in/around my house without fear/screaming/crying
• Drinking Rojita (soda)

Obviously, there’s more, but these are the easiest to express into words and some of the least pressing matters to deal with.

It´s true, you have a really long neck?!?

Being a gringa in the Nicaland, is like living in a fishbowl or under a microscope (whichever metaphor you prefer) I´ve gotten pretty used to it. People always know where I´ve been and at times even where I´m going before I know; but every now and then I get a curve ball, like when I went to plan with one of my teachers. I go over there every week to plan and her grandkids are always there and wanting to tell me about there day and play. I was chatting with Sol, the 4 year old, asking about her day in preschool, etc and out of the blue she says, It´s true, you really do have a long neck.....PAUSE....I guess thank you. Yes, I´m a giant compared to everyone else here and I know that, but I didn´t realize that my neck was resembling a giraffe´s as well. And it also made me wonder what else are they saying about me? Are my ears too big too? Kids do say what they want to say, but she said it like before she was in disbelief, but now after observation it´s true!

That´s my only funny antecdote for this entry....but here´s what´s going on in my life:

I recently gave a charla to the new group of trainees and it felt kind of weird. I couldn´t believe that I´ve been in site for a year already and now am giving advice to the new volunteers when most of the time I still don´t quite know what I´m doing myself. And during this whole time I was in and out of the PC office and seeing all the volunteers that are preparing to leave as their 2 years comes to an end and I was able to really visualize the life cycle of a PCV and it made me anxious for my last year to finish up so that I could share the joy of those that are leaving. It wasn´t that long ago I was in training and hopefully not much longer and I´ll be signing my papers to go home. 

The life cycle of a Peace Corps Volunteer.

1) Super long application process

2) Training for 3 months

3) Volunteer for 2 years

4) Close of service and you´re free!

Whiile in Managua for the charla I was able to indulge in American food, wireless internet, air conditioning, comfortable bed and pillow and it was wonderful, but like always it makes coming home and eating rice and beans and sleeping under a mosquito net that much harder.

Things are going well here. Classes are going to be finishing up in the next couple of months and I´m trying to prepare some activities to take place during the vacations so that I don´t die of boredom. I want to have some English classes and some Environmental activities.

First World vs. Third World Problems

 I recently had my mid-service doctor and dentist appointments. I don’t mind doctors or dentists but I dread going to Managua. Again just when I’m thinking that I can handle anything Nicaragua throws at me, the gods decide to throw me a curve ball (I’m not sure if it’s in spite or just to keep me on my toes). As I was waiting for the bus on Monday morning, I immediately regretted my decision to schedule my appointment for a Monday…it’s a bad travel day because everyone is traveling. I ended up hopping on a packed bus in which I was lucky enough to stand for the whole three hour trip on a terrible excuse for a road. Within the first ten minutes I almost fell and another passenger reached his arms out (instinctively, kind of like when you slam on the brakes and reach your arm out to protect your front seat passenger). Here comes the curve ball, there was a guy who was drunk or hung over and roaming around the cramped aisles even though he wasn’t getting off anytime soon. Luckily I have this magnet that attracts freaks like this and he stood by me; as he stood way too close for my comfort levels and not sure but seemed like he was trying to reach into my pocket and steal the ten cords I had. I kept my eyes on him and then he starts mumbling sweet nothings, which I hate and then kissed my arm that was grasping onto the handrail. Why?!?! I’m a good foot taller than the guy and as long as no weapons are involved I felt very confident that I could kick his ass. But instead of causing a scene I gently pushed him away and told him not to touch me. He got off shortly after that and I was able to successfully reach Managua without any more problems.

1^st World – Most people drive their personal cars and don’t need to deal with public transportation; and if they do elect to participate in public transportation the buses are not old school buses in danger of breaking down at any moment, not ever crammed with so many people you’re on the verge of a panic attack and can usually sit in your own solitude while listening to an Ipod or reading.

3^rd World – You rely on the buses and if you miss the bus there’s not another one coming in 5 minutes, you’ll be waiting much longer. You’re constantly alert of your belongings and the people around you, and you’re getting a great workout while you grasp the handrail and hope your core muscles will support you while the bus is launched over pot holes the size of small lakes and going way too fast around those curves.

I had my doctor’s appointment and all is well. I’m losing weight but nothing too drastic. I had my dentist appointment and surprise! I’ve got a cavity. I’m not surprised with the extreme amount of sugar and soda that I’m consuming here which is way higher than my normal US consumption rates. My appointments ran long and I had to stay in Managua because I couldn’t catch any more buses for the day and my cell was dead. I don’t mind staying in Managua – I get to sleep in a comfortable bed, eat food that doesn’t include rice or beans, take a hot shower and watch cable TV; but I don’t like staying when I’m not prepared. I didn’t think it was a possibility that I would stay, so I didn’t bring anything, toothbrush, change of clothes, nothing. So it’s not really that enjoyable to shower and then put on the same dirty clothes and then sleep in those clothes too. My clothes did not smell good the next day and I felt sorry for the woman I sat next to on the bus, Sorry! I was lucky enough to sit, but I took that worst bus ever…looking at it I’m thinking please let me arrive safely; I arrived safely but after six or seven stops where they had to fix or pretend to fix various mechanical problems.

1^st World – People’s response to my weight loss is “Wow! That’s great!” “You’re getting so skinny,” etc. It’s super interesting to me because we have an over abundance of food available to us each day and we’re overly obsessed with body image and being skinny or muscular to be beautiful.

3^rd World – People are telling me that I’m getting too skinny and need to eat more. People are actually inviting me to eat at their houses because they don’t think I’m eating enough. (P.S. I’m eating, but apparently rice and beans are a good diet if you’re looking to lose weight). Some people don’t have enough food to feed their families or themselves, therefore in my opinion, it seems that if you have money you show that by being a little bigger to show that you’re eating and that you have the money to buy food. Here and in other countries that I’ve visited big is beautiful; they want me to be hermosa not flacita.

            There are many more differences between the problems 1^st world societies face and 3^rd world societies face, but these were experiences that I recently had and reflected over and find very interesting.

Not my prince charming

I apologize for my lack of updates, but I would rather post funny antecdotes than bore you with my mundane tasks in life.
Rupert is getting bigger by the day and is a terror. It´s a good thing she´s cute because there have been moments where I would like to kill her. She´s no longer allowed to be indoors unsupervised because she´s destroyed 2 pairs of flip flops, pulled the tablecloth off the table along with my dishes, pots, pans, etc, somehow got into her food which was on the kitchen table (about waist high) and just general destruction of everything.
My wish of living in a rodent free house has been crushed; but the score is Lindsey 2, mice, not rats 0. I had one mouse living under my refridgerator. I´m not sure how long he was there for, but for a decent amount of time judging by the stock of dog food he had hidden. He was a bit mysterious and difficult to catch. After chasing him around the house, while screaming of course he would literally disappear into thin air. I was not alone, my friend who was wielding a machete (yes a machete) to kill a mouse can vouch for the witch mouse.   He luckily fled the house but was unlucky and lucky for me to be pummeled my a rock and killed instantly. The other mouse, I hope is burning in hell, was living in my clothes. One morning I was rummaging through trying to find the least stretched out and best smelling shirt when he scurried out, nearly up my arm causing a near heart attack for me. Again, he luckily fled the house through the many open doors and crevices and was later found dead near my backdoor. I´m hoping that those are the only unwanted visitors that enter my home and if more trepass they should be warned of their fateful future.
Drum roll please.....
This is the story you are all waiting for. I sleep under a mosquito net to prevent such diseases as malaria and dengue from infecting me, but also it´s my shield of armour, without it I don´t know if I would every sleep soundly. Unfortunately, it´s failed me. I was peacefully sleeping when something small and moist fell unto my lips. Of course, I shrieked and busted out my cell to give what little light it can provide to find the culprit. It took quite a bit of frantic searching but I found the little guy, it was a small tree frog. Luckily, it wasn´t poisonous and I didn´t obtain any warts from him; but nor was he my prince charming. I´ve literally kissed one frog, hopefully my only and it didn´t turn out like the fairy tales. DAMN! I guess that´s why Maroon 5 sings that fairy tales are full of shit...that´s right I was in the US and can make references to pop culture, probably not for much longer but for now I can.