First World vs. Third World Problems

 I recently had my mid-service doctor and dentist appointments. I don’t mind doctors or dentists but I dread going to Managua. Again just when I’m thinking that I can handle anything Nicaragua throws at me, the gods decide to throw me a curve ball (I’m not sure if it’s in spite or just to keep me on my toes). As I was waiting for the bus on Monday morning, I immediately regretted my decision to schedule my appointment for a Monday…it’s a bad travel day because everyone is traveling. I ended up hopping on a packed bus in which I was lucky enough to stand for the whole three hour trip on a terrible excuse for a road. Within the first ten minutes I almost fell and another passenger reached his arms out (instinctively, kind of like when you slam on the brakes and reach your arm out to protect your front seat passenger). Here comes the curve ball, there was a guy who was drunk or hung over and roaming around the cramped aisles even though he wasn’t getting off anytime soon. Luckily I have this magnet that attracts freaks like this and he stood by me; as he stood way too close for my comfort levels and not sure but seemed like he was trying to reach into my pocket and steal the ten cords I had. I kept my eyes on him and then he starts mumbling sweet nothings, which I hate and then kissed my arm that was grasping onto the handrail. Why?!?! I’m a good foot taller than the guy and as long as no weapons are involved I felt very confident that I could kick his ass. But instead of causing a scene I gently pushed him away and told him not to touch me. He got off shortly after that and I was able to successfully reach Managua without any more problems.

1^st World – Most people drive their personal cars and don’t need to deal with public transportation; and if they do elect to participate in public transportation the buses are not old school buses in danger of breaking down at any moment, not ever crammed with so many people you’re on the verge of a panic attack and can usually sit in your own solitude while listening to an Ipod or reading.

3^rd World – You rely on the buses and if you miss the bus there’s not another one coming in 5 minutes, you’ll be waiting much longer. You’re constantly alert of your belongings and the people around you, and you’re getting a great workout while you grasp the handrail and hope your core muscles will support you while the bus is launched over pot holes the size of small lakes and going way too fast around those curves.

I had my doctor’s appointment and all is well. I’m losing weight but nothing too drastic. I had my dentist appointment and surprise! I’ve got a cavity. I’m not surprised with the extreme amount of sugar and soda that I’m consuming here which is way higher than my normal US consumption rates. My appointments ran long and I had to stay in Managua because I couldn’t catch any more buses for the day and my cell was dead. I don’t mind staying in Managua – I get to sleep in a comfortable bed, eat food that doesn’t include rice or beans, take a hot shower and watch cable TV; but I don’t like staying when I’m not prepared. I didn’t think it was a possibility that I would stay, so I didn’t bring anything, toothbrush, change of clothes, nothing. So it’s not really that enjoyable to shower and then put on the same dirty clothes and then sleep in those clothes too. My clothes did not smell good the next day and I felt sorry for the woman I sat next to on the bus, Sorry! I was lucky enough to sit, but I took that worst bus ever…looking at it I’m thinking please let me arrive safely; I arrived safely but after six or seven stops where they had to fix or pretend to fix various mechanical problems.

1^st World – People’s response to my weight loss is “Wow! That’s great!” “You’re getting so skinny,” etc. It’s super interesting to me because we have an over abundance of food available to us each day and we’re overly obsessed with body image and being skinny or muscular to be beautiful.

3^rd World – People are telling me that I’m getting too skinny and need to eat more. People are actually inviting me to eat at their houses because they don’t think I’m eating enough. (P.S. I’m eating, but apparently rice and beans are a good diet if you’re looking to lose weight). Some people don’t have enough food to feed their families or themselves, therefore in my opinion, it seems that if you have money you show that by being a little bigger to show that you’re eating and that you have the money to buy food. Here and in other countries that I’ve visited big is beautiful; they want me to be hermosa not flacita.

            There are many more differences between the problems 1^st world societies face and 3^rd world societies face, but these were experiences that I recently had and reflected over and find very interesting.

Not my prince charming

I apologize for my lack of updates, but I would rather post funny antecdotes than bore you with my mundane tasks in life.
Rupert is getting bigger by the day and is a terror. It´s a good thing she´s cute because there have been moments where I would like to kill her. She´s no longer allowed to be indoors unsupervised because she´s destroyed 2 pairs of flip flops, pulled the tablecloth off the table along with my dishes, pots, pans, etc, somehow got into her food which was on the kitchen table (about waist high) and just general destruction of everything.
My wish of living in a rodent free house has been crushed; but the score is Lindsey 2, mice, not rats 0. I had one mouse living under my refridgerator. I´m not sure how long he was there for, but for a decent amount of time judging by the stock of dog food he had hidden. He was a bit mysterious and difficult to catch. After chasing him around the house, while screaming of course he would literally disappear into thin air. I was not alone, my friend who was wielding a machete (yes a machete) to kill a mouse can vouch for the witch mouse.   He luckily fled the house but was unlucky and lucky for me to be pummeled my a rock and killed instantly. The other mouse, I hope is burning in hell, was living in my clothes. One morning I was rummaging through trying to find the least stretched out and best smelling shirt when he scurried out, nearly up my arm causing a near heart attack for me. Again, he luckily fled the house through the many open doors and crevices and was later found dead near my backdoor. I´m hoping that those are the only unwanted visitors that enter my home and if more trepass they should be warned of their fateful future.
Drum roll please.....
This is the story you are all waiting for. I sleep under a mosquito net to prevent such diseases as malaria and dengue from infecting me, but also it´s my shield of armour, without it I don´t know if I would every sleep soundly. Unfortunately, it´s failed me. I was peacefully sleeping when something small and moist fell unto my lips. Of course, I shrieked and busted out my cell to give what little light it can provide to find the culprit. It took quite a bit of frantic searching but I found the little guy, it was a small tree frog. Luckily, it wasn´t poisonous and I didn´t obtain any warts from him; but nor was he my prince charming. I´ve literally kissed one frog, hopefully my only and it didn´t turn out like the fairy tales. DAMN! I guess that´s why Maroon 5 sings that fairy tales are full of shit...that´s right I was in the US and can make references to pop culture, probably not for much longer but for now I can.

Back in Nicaragua a year older and a little weirder

It was so nice having that little vacation time to see family and friends and to eat foods other than rice and beans! Thank you to everyone for everything.

I’m finally caught up on popular culture, news, TV, music and movies. I am satisfied to have watched the season of Glee that I missed. I’ve learned the new songs that are overplayed on all mainstream radio stations. Unfortunately I haven’t been able to stop singing “Call Me Maybe” since I’ve heard it and sadly downloaded it into my iTunes! It’s quite catchy! Maybe I’ll add to YouTube collections of the video and do a Nicaraguan version…

Coming back wasn’t too tough of a readjustment. Although there are those days when I wish I could just hop in a car and drive to the store, or eat those comfort foods from home, or watch TV. Rupert, my puppy is growing more and more each day and is quite the biter *I’ve got the battle wounds to prove it; my flip flops too are scarred by her little teeth.

The best surprise was I recently celebrated my birthday, and the students at one of my schools planned a party. I thought something was a little fishy when almost every student asked me how old I was and then what’s my birthday. At recess, after I had taught my classes they all came together, sang to me the longest version of happy birthday I’ve every heard, gave me a cake and perfume. It was really sweet! That was on Wednesday. On Friday, my actual birthday, the occasion was announced on the radio and lots of people wished me felicidades.

That’s all the positives of turning 25, the downside is according to Nicaraguan standards I’m an old maid. The questions haven’t stopped since I arrived but now with another year under my belt the frequency has increased. When am I going to have babies? Why don’t I have one now!?! Do I want kids? My response is “yes I want kids eventually, but not now” but that just isn’t acceptable to most people. In their eyes, I should have at least a husband and one child by now and I have neither…and to top it off I live alone…WHAT?!? And I take Rupert on walks, use a leash, pet her and she sleeps inside. I’m a true freak to the people observing me in my town.

Home Again, Home Again

That's right...the countdown has ended and I've safely made it back to my home state. I really love you folks here at home because I went through a lot to get here. First of all, I woke up at 4 am to take a bus at 5 am to Managua. I stood on the side of the highway and watched the sunrise while I waited, waited and waited until the bus finally arrived at 6 am. I made it to the airport, dodging four lanes of traffic with my huge suitcase to go from the bus stop to the airport. I was already tired and hungry and then I was met by an uncooperative employee who didn't want to check in my luggage because I was 5 minutes early...I tell ya. But, all was well and I safely arrived in Houston, that's where the trouble began. The line for customs was about a mile long, no exaggeration and only three windows were open to help people. I only had an hour to get through and make it to my connecting flight, so it's no surprise that I missed it. After choosing the wrong line to stand in (the slowest one) and seeing people that were behind me pass through before, just about brought me to tears. Of course, I was thinking worst case scenarios, I'd be stuck there overnight and it would throw a wrench into all of my plans; but the nice lady at the ticketing counter booked me a flight an hour later, but when I saw the line for security my heart sank just a little bit. I didn't think I would make it through, but someone must have been praying for me because I made it through in the nick of time and even better there was a bit of delay, so I had time to eat something, the first thing for the day because I only have Nicaraguan cordobas - FYI they don't work in the US. Finally, I touched down in Chicago and practically ran to baggage claim. As I was approaching I saw a woman that looked like my mom, but was too blonde to  be true, wrong! It was her - I almost didn't recognize her. We picked up my bag and drove for home.
And that's my story. I'll be zipping about the US, visiting family and friends; eating anything that isn't rice and/or beans; enjoying the joys of home that I don't quite get in my Nicaraguan home.
A bit of an update on the Nicaraguan home front:
My dear, dear friend and fellow volunteer decided to leave early and ditch me to survive alone; but as a consolation she gave me her puppy. It's a girl! and her name is Rupert, I like to call her Rue. She's adorable and I've fallen in love with her, except when she poops and pees in the house and bites me. I've had her for two weeks and was sad to leave her behind and am really trusting that they're taking good care of her back in Nicaragua. I bought her a collar and leash, I was so excited to have a dog to go walking with, but Rue had other thoughts. I saddled her up and she dug her paws into the ground and refused to move. I tried again the next day, we were able to walk through the house to my front yard before she lost interest again. Finally, third time is a charm, we successfully walked up and down my street. Little by little, we'll get there.
I feel like I'm slowly becoming a Nicaraguan housewife minus the husband part and with a dog as my child. My days are becoming more and more routine. I have acquired an internal alarm clock which is set for about 5 am and Rue has the same one. I have my classes, I clean the house about ten times a day due to Rue, I sort beans (picking out stones, bad beans), I cook, I wash clothes if there's an ounce of sunshine (lately it's been lots and lots of rain and my laundry basket is quite full, a nice little treat for when I return), and I visit neighbors to watch my telenovelas and go to bed pretty consistently around 9 pm.
Other than my new addition of Rue I don't really have anything exciting to share. I'm glad to be home and to blend in a little more with the crowd and to not feel like a giant in a sea of munchkins. Hopefully I won't lose all of my Spanish skills, and right now I'm rocking a pretty awesome Spanglish dialect when chatting about everything. Well, I've got places to go and people to see, my next update will be when I'm back in Nicaragua. Adios!

Not the Next Top Chef, Not Even Close

I finally caved and bought my own Nica food supplies (rice, beans, tortilla, oil and salt). Up until now I’ve been eating at other people’s homes or cooking myself a diet of eggs, oatmeal, sandwiches and other low maintenance items.

I was really proud of myself. I spent the day picking at beans and throwing out the bad ones, washing rice, and chopping tomatoes, onions, and chiltoma (similar to green pepper). Of course, I had observers watching my every move and telling me I wasn’t chopping small enough or not big enough. But the big faux pas was how I prepared my rice. Instead of frying my rice for 15 minutes and then adding a little water every 5 minutes until it’s ready like everyone does here, I just boiled the rice – the way I’m accustomed to preparing rice. With the reactions from my observers you would have thought I killed someone and more observers were called into see what I was doing. Well, thankfully I didn’t ruin it and proved them wrong when they tried it and what?!? Enjoyed it! Now they’re actually asking me to teach them how to make MY rice. HAHA GLORY!

I was quite proud of myself, thinking back I probably should have taken a picture to mark this momentous occasion. Now before you all stop reading this because you can’t handle any more of my extreme bragging; I’ll humble myself a bit and share with you my day from hell.

The next morning I used the leftovers to make the infamous, gallo pinto. It tasted fine and all was well. I was getting ready to go to class and was suddenly overcome by extreme nausea….that’s right I had food poisoning and what’s worse is I gave it to myself! I spent the entire morning vomiting and pretty much wanted to die. All of this occurred within 30 minutes of eating the gallo pinto. At 9AM it started and after I felt a bit better at around 1PM I tried to eat some crackers and after 30 minutes passed I was vomiting again.

I’m a bit guy shy of making my own food again, and so are my neighbors because I was invited to lunch with one family today. No worries though, I’ve discovered the culprit was the rice and from now on I’m only going to make enough for the meal and toss the rest. I never want to experience the vomit fest again, and won’t be taking any risks with rice.

In other news, only 15 days until I’m in the USA! I will be avoiding rice there as well….unless it’s with sushi!

Nothing too exciting in my life, but a few updates.
I planted some watermelon in my gravel pit of a backyard and surprisingly I´ve got some luck! All of the seeds sprouted and they are about 6 inches tall-long, I´m hoping that nothing destroys them before I can enjoy the fruit. I have only 2 plants of chiltoma growing after some chickens came through and destroyed the rest of the sprouts. I planted some flower seeds to try and bring some color and beauty to my yard, but unfortunately they haven´t done so well....I tried.
My neighbor has two dogs that both have puppies, so they have 10 puppies in total. I´ve fallen in love with one and I keep talking to Normancito, my 3 year old neighbor who often comes wandering into my house barefoot and sometimes only in his underwear. I´ve been hinting that I want to keep the little puppy and he´s caught on to my not so subtle hints, so much so that he refers to the puppy as mine and sometimes carries it into my house and tells me to keep it (which I can´t because it is only a few weeks old). Hopefully all will work out and I´ll get to keep the fellow.
Funny little story: the other day I was showering, I was all covered in soap when suddenly no more water! I had to walk back to my house all covered in soap to retrieve my gallon of water to rinse with, I´m sure I was a sight to see.
Sorry I don´t have more to say....only 30 days until I´m home for a visit.

The Ups and Downs of PC Life

Obviously life isn't all care bears and rainbows and the last couple of weeks I've had some difficulties. I don't think I'm suffering hormonal problems, but the past couple of weeks my tear ducts have been on overdrive. I think that I'm more than ready to see all you folks at home and am a bit homesick, and without classes for the last couple of weeks I had nothing to keep me busy. I cried for various reasons, for example one day I watched My Girl and I was a complete mess - Why did Thomas J have to step on that bee hive? Other times I've been looking at my photo wall and wondering how different everyone is going to be when I come back and the waterworks begin. Also, my problem is the cyclical/wave process of adjustment. Just as I think, "I've got this! I'm ready for anything that Nicaragua can throw at me." and then the next day I'm like, "Whoa, Whoa, Whoa! Not happening, what am I doing here?!"
I've got a perfect example of just this.... One day last week, there was a giant, ugly beetle trying to crawl into my house without thinking I killed it and tossed it into my backyard. I was pretty proud of myself, well it was pretty short lived because the next day as I was showering I spotted a huge spider (like the size of my hand with legs and all), I was terrified. Being mid-shower there's little I could do, so I whipped off my flip flop and swatted it a few times; not quite sure if it was completely dead I gingerly pushed it towards my shower drain. Mind you my shower drain is a large hole with a diameter of about 3 inches, just as the spider reached the edge of the abyss, a giant frog jumped out and ate the spider. I let out a blood curdling scream and quickly ended my shower. I should be grateful for the frog and grateful that it was a frog coming out of the drain and not my least favorite critter on Earth, the rat; but I still don't appreciate the fact that I've got a giant frog living in my shower drain. I went from being completely fine with the insects that co-exist with me to being terrified of a frog living in my bathroom and wishing that I had an indoor, frog-free bathroom.
So before you feel really sorry for me and think that I'm having a terrible experience. You need to know that it's only some days where I could easily hop on a plane and go home, but there are other days that I love. Like working with my students and teaching them the little that I know about gardening. Or the other day I gave a class on responsible parenting, yes it's part of the science curriculum, a sub-topic of the reproductive system. Well, it came at a perfect time because the week before on of my 5th grade, 12 year old students left with her 20 year old boyfriend; if you're gasping in shock and shaking your head,  I had the same reaction; and unfortunately it's more common here than I would like to think about. My lesson consisted of them brainstorming characteristics and responsibilities of responsible moms and dads. After generating a good list and discussing the differences between the responsibilities of moms and dads and having a conversation that not all families have an equal balance between males and females but for the future fathers they could change that in the future. Luckily, we all agreed (including me) that parenthood is a big responsibility that none of us is ready for, just yet.
Even though I have good days and bad days, I'm having a good time overall and today couldn't get any better since I'm sitting in a coffee shop, listening to 89.3 The Current MPR live stream and enjoying WiFi, coffee and an escape from my cowboy territory that I normally live in.
Hope you're all doing well and have the countdown going with me...62 days!!