Minor panic attacks

The countdown is down to just 9 days!
Let me stop and catch my breath, the realization that I'm leaving for Nicaragua to live there for 27 months in just 9 days is truly beginning to sink and has got me freaking out just a tad.
I'm really not ready at all. The other day I tried to separate what I need to pack/might pack/won't pack and made lists of things I still need to get and still need to do before departure. This process was rather overwhelming so I just left my room a mess and fled the scene without looking back. This packing thing has engulfed my worries so much that I've been having nightmares that I arrive in Nicaragua to find that I've forgotten the basic necessities and lots of other essential things. For the past 4 days I've tried not to think about it. But there are constant reminders, like...

Panic attack #2: I've been spending money like I'm a millionaire, which couldn't be farther from the truth. I've got way more money flying out the door than coming in and even though I'm freaking out about it, it really doesn't faze me to say no to going out with friends or finding more things to buy at REI and Target. I just keep swiping my check card and then a couple of days later have a mini heart attack looking at the dwindling numbers of my bank account. Oh well...

Panic attack #3: Family members getting too sentimental. My mom started crying the other day talking about how much she's going to miss me and worry about me. My mom even played out the scene of when she drops me off at the airport and says goodbye. My grandma told me she misses me already and I haven't even left yet. My cousins who are 5 and 8 keep reminding me how many holidays and birthdays I'm going to miss and predict how tall they're going to be when I return. All of their sentimentality is very touching, but I'm trying to keep it all together (for them and for myself). I'm not sure how much longer it will be until I break down and start crying over every little thing, but I have feeling as the amount of panic attacks grow, my stress level rises and the number of nightmares occurring increases; I'm going to reach my breaking point and the flood gates will open.